The Blessed Virgin . . . Rogue?!
by Salamander
Summary: Personally, I think the title says it all. :)


Disclaimer: None of the X-Men are mine. God and Mary aren't mine either. I doubt they'd sue, though. ;)  
  
Notes: I know some people are very sensitive when it comes to their faith. This story is not meant to upset anyone. I hope it doesn't. Please accept my apologies if it upsets you.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Rogue hummed happily to herself as she took another heaping forkful of pancakes into her mouth. She was happy. Extremely happy. What made things more interesting was that she hadn't needed coffee to help her reach her cheerful peak. Happiness in the morning without the use of caffeine was blasphemous! And for that reason, everybody kept their distance. Whatever she had, they didn't want to catch it.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want coffee?" Jean lifted Rogue's mug, hoping maybe a little visual association would get Rogue back on the right track.  
  
"No, I can't have any."  
  
"'Course ya can, darlin'!" The whole thing was even freaking Logan out, which actually wasn't that difficult when he was still bleary from sleep. "Everyone can have coffee. Some people just shouldn't. Like Jubes. Just ain't right. But ya can have coffee. Coffee's good."  
  
Rogue shook her head in a laughing manner. "Sugah, I can't have coffee." She giggled a bit. "Pregnant women shouldn't have coffee."  
  
Of course! That was bad. They decided to leave her alone. Why push her when it could wind up hurting her baby?  
  
Scott frowned. "We're sorry for trying to push you into drinking coffee. Your pregnancy is . . . "  
  
PREGNANCY?! Rogue was pregnant?!  
  
Everybody stopped what they were doing. And just . . . stared at Rogue. No, . . . she couldn't be pregnant. It was impossible. She couldn't touch anyone, let alone have sex with someone. What was going on?!  
  
Rogue giggled again. "Just found out yesterday."  
  
More stunned silence.  
  
"What?" She began to frown.  
  
"Ummm . . . " Scott didn't want to be the one to sound stupid, just in case she actually was pregnant. Or to tell Rogue that it was impossible for her to get pregnant. But he was the leader of the X-Men, and being an ass sure did seem to be in the job description. Damn the Professor for talking him into leading the X-Men. Damn him! "Rogue, you aren't pregnant."  
  
To his relief, everyone seemed to whole-heartedly agree. Everyone but Rogue, that is. She shook her head adamantly. "I am."  
  
Bobby frowned. He was sitting next to the confused woman, but he had to get something off his chest, even if it meant that he might wind up flattened against a wall by her. And not in a fun, kinky way, either. "You can't get pregnant. You can't even touch anyone. It's impossible."  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes. "I'm tellin' ya, Bobby, I'm pregnant. Ain't like ya gotta worry. It ain't yaohs."  
  
He shrugged. "Can't argue with that." He had said his peace. It hadn't worked. He had been exonerated from the suspects' list that would be made in the next few minutes. And he was still alive! Yes, indeed, that equaled one happy Robert Drake!  
  
Ororo frowned, not knowing how to take the situation. "Who informed you of your pregnancy?"  
  
"Dr. Johnson. He has a nice li'l office in town." That confession tore into Hank's ego. She hadn't even gone to him for advice!  
  
Jean was jealous. Rogue, the woman who couldn't touch anyone, had gotten pregnant. Jean and Scott had been trying so hard to have kids, and the woman who couldn't touch anyone gets pregnant first?! The hell?! "How?!"  
  
"Well, I just drove mahself over to the office. Wasn't that difficult. He took a blood test and - "  
  
"No. I mean how'd you get pregnant?"  
  
Rogue smiled at Jean in an almost pitying manner. "Ya don't ask questions like that, sugah. - "  
  
"I think we all have the right to know," Ororo protested.  
  
"All I meant was that when it just happens, ya can't question it."  
  
Everyone looked at her, not at all understanding. Hank couldn't even figure it out. He shook his head. "What?" He obviously wasn't his eloquent self at the moment.  
  
"I'm a virgin."  
  
Logan spit out his coffee, dribbles of it effectively soaking almost everyone at the table but somehow missing Rogue completely. Bobby wiped the brown spittle off of his face in disgust. "Well, you obviously aren't anymore."  
  
"But yaoh wrong, Bobby. I am!"  
  
Confused silence.  
  
"Bobby said it. I can't touch anyone."  
  
"But . . . " Hank shook his head. "What?"  
  
"I'm a virgin, Hank. - "  
  
"Nonono . . . " He held his hands over his ears, trying not to hear it. It wasn't right. It wasn't scientific. He didn't understand it! NO!  
  
Wait . . . Unless . . .  
  
Hank calmed down considerably. "Why did you not tell me you were interested in artificial insimination? I'm sure I could have helped with the price."  
  
"No, I didn't get that done."  
  
Hank shuddered. "But . . . then . . . how?"  
  
"It just happened one day." She sighed almost dreamily. "It just happened. It's a miracle. Isn't it wonderful?"  
  
Scott frowned. "Rogue, that's impossible. All women need to have sex in order to get pregnant."  
  
"Nuh-uh, sugah."  
  
Bobby shook his head. "Man, I did really bad in biology, but that's one thing I definitely remember!"  
  
"Didn't you take sex education before then?" Hank was trying to get his mind over the whole "Rogue pregnant ordeal."  
  
Bobby nodded. "Yeah. Slept through it, though."  
  
Logan grunted. "That don't surprise me."  
  
"Like you wouldn't have! There was nothing cool about it! Just all technical crap. - "  
  
Hank frowned. "It was class, Bobby. It wasn't intended to give teenage boys pleasure - "  
  
"Then why do they have to call it SEX ed?! It's all a big tease, I swear. . . . "  
  
"This conversation is getting nowhere. Rogue still hasn't told us how she got pregnant." Scott looked at the woman pointedly. "Go ahead."  
  
"I told ya. It just happened."  
  
Hank shook his head. "It doesn't just work like that."  
  
"It can, sugah."  
  
"It never has before."  
  
"It happened to Mary."  
  
Everyone stared at Rogue.  
  
She shrugged. "Well, it did."  
  
Silence.  
  
"What?"  
  
"MARY, MOTHER OF GOD?!"  
  
"Now, Bobby, there's no need to use her name in vain."  
  
"I wasn't, Jean. I was asking."  
  
"Oh. Well, in that case. . . . " Still somewhat upset about Rogue getting pregnant, Jean turned to her. "Mary, mother of God?!"  
  
Rogue nodded. "Ya can't argue against it."  
  
"There is no substantial proof she was a virgin." Beast had faith. Don't think he didn't. He just couldn't believe that the same thing that had happened to Mary had happened to Rogue.  
  
"Didn't know ya were an atheist, blue boy," Logan pounced.  
  
"Never said I was one," Hank retorted.  
  
"Rogue, are you comparing yourself to a religious icon?" Ororo saw a major problem with it.  
  
Hank nodded. "It wouldn't be a good idea to advertise that belief."  
  
"Ya don't believe me!"  
  
"Even of we did, Rogue, it would be a bad idea to tell people. They could think you're nuts. - "  
  
Bobby cut Scott off. "And nuts people might think you're sane. Best of both worlds."  
  
"Look, I'm pregnant, and I'm still a virgin. Those are the facts."  
  
"But . . . you see . . . " Hank scratched his head. "It doesn't work!" He was almost to the point of whining.  
  
"Hank, ya just gotta let yaohself believe."  
  
He shook his head. "I don't quite understand what you want me to believe in. Are you implying that you are carrying God?"  
  
Rogue shrugged. "Ya never know."  
  
Unconvinced and incredulous stares.  
  
"It could happen."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Would it help for ya to know I'm havin' twins?"  



End file.
